[Verse 1]
Well the President signed a proclamation Monday afternoon
Fifty percent tariffs on Canadian goods, and they're coming soon
From lumber down to dairy, from the maple to the wheat
And yes they slapped that duty on the hockey stick — now ain't that slick
Carney called it brazen, said he'd "intensify" the talks
But Trump said Canada's been discriminating — that's the crux of all this squawk
A surtuous escalation — that's a word for when a tax
Keeps piling on and ramifying, putting strain along the tracks
[Chorus]
Fifty cents on every dollar, Canada's the mark
White House signed the paperwork and lit the tariff spark
Aluminum adjustments, proclamation on the shelf
When the big man draws a tariff line, you feel it for yourself
Fifty cents on every dollar — Carney's drawing breath
Vowing harder trade negotiations, talking 'til there's nothing left
[Verse 2]
Now over in the hangar there's a different kind of drama brewing low
The Qatari government gifted Trump a jumbo jet, a very lavish show
But the upgrades take some time, and security checks don't come cheap or fast
So they're dusting off the old Air Force One — gonna fly the classic cast
'Bout a month of retro travel while the new bird gets its shine
A borrowed Qatari luxury liner waiting down the line
Some call it a emolument — a gift from foreign hands
A rare old word for benefits that flow from foreign lands
[Chorus]
Fifty cents on every dollar, Canada's the mark
White House signed the paperwork and lit the tariff spark
Aluminum adjustments, proclamation on the shelf
When the big man draws a tariff line, you feel it for yourself
Fifty cents on every dollar — Carney's drawing breath
Vowing harder trade negotiations, talking 'til there's nothing left
[Bridge]
Supply chains running north to south are groaning at the seams
Importers calculating what this fifty-percent regime means
The Guardian reported it, Al Jazeera picked it up
BBC and Reuters poured the story in your cup
From paNOW up in Saskatchewan to CHEK News on the coast
Canada's watching Washington to see who suffers most
[Verse 3]
The aluminum proclamation rolled out right alongside
Adjusting how the metal gets its tariff multiplied
Every can and coil and casting crossing that long border line
Now pays the toll that Trump declared by presidential design
So the trade map's being redrawn with a heavy, blunted pen
And the question hanging heavy is — what does Canada do then?
[Outro]
July twenty-first — the tariffs hit, the old plane taxied out
Carney promised "intensify," which leaves a lot of doubt
That's your Tuesday news from Washington, delivered honky-tonk
The fifty-percent hammer fell — now everybody's feeling the conk