[Verse 1]
Ninety-nine percent of all your calcium
Sits in a vault built from femur and jaw,
Not just a scaffold, not just a skeleton,
It's a living bank with a withdrawal law.
Blood needs its balance, steady and quiet,
So bone keeps a ledger, deposits and runs,
Every rib and vertebra a safety deposit,
Guarding the mineral like it's the only one.
[Chorus]
Parathyroid pulls the vault doors open wide,
Calcitonin slams them shut, calcium can't hide,
Vitamin D's the courier marching from the gut,
Three tellers at the counter keep blood calcium cut
Just right, just right, the bank stays tight,
Osteoclasts chewing through the day and night.
[Verse 2]
Picture a teller named Parathyroid Pete,
He whistles for osteoclasts to come eat,
They gnaw on the bone like it's stale bread,
Releasing calcium so your blood's not dead.
Calcitonin's the quiet competing clerk,
Telling osteoblasts to get back to work,
Rebuilding the vault one brick at a time,
While Vitamin D runs the gut-absorption line.
[Chorus]
Parathyroid pulls the vault doors open wide,
Calcitonin slams them shut, calcium can't hide,
Vitamin D's the courier marching from the gut,
Three tellers at the counter keep blood calcium cut
Just right, just right, the bank stays tight,
Osteoclasts chewing through the day and night.
[Verse 3]
By thirty candles your bank's at its peak,
Denser than ever, the strongest physique,
Then slowly the ledger starts tipping behind,
A slim one percent lost, year after year, you'll find.
But menopause flips the switch in the story,
Estrogen drops and the loss turns to worry,
The vault empties faster when that hormone fades,
That's why the calcium talk matters for the ladies.
[Verse 4]
Wolff's law whispers: stress makes you stronger,
Jump rope, sprint, lift, bone can't wait longer,
A tennis player's serving arm, the X-ray won't lie,
Thicker, denser bone, built from reaching high.
Weight on the skeleton's a love letter it reads,
Impact and gravity plant growing seeds,
Walk, don't just float, give your femur a reason,
Bone remodels itself with every running season.
[Bridge]
Send a skeleton to drift in orbit's hush,
No gravity tugging, no footfall, no rush,
Hip bone dissolves at one, one and a half percent
Every lonely month the astronaut's spent.
Wolff's law in reverse, a vault with no customers,
Calcium drifting off with no bone-building summoners,
Proof that your skeleton needs a job to do,
Stand up, stomp around, it's leaning on you.
[Outro]
So feed your bank with sunlight, milk, and a run,
Keep the tellers balanced till the borrowing's done,
Ninety-nine percent locked in a calcium vault,
Treat it kind today, it's never bone's fault.