[Verse 1]
Eight little pebbles stacked in a wrist-shaped row,
Two decks of four where the hand meets the forearm, you know,
Proximal row first, closest to the arm's own door,
Scaphoid like a boat, lunate glowing like the moon's own core,
Triquetrum's three-cornered, a stone with jagged side,
Pisiform's a tiny pea tucked in on the pinky's ride.
[Chorus]
Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle,
Eight bones in a row, lit like a tiny candle,
Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetrum, Pisiform first,
Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate, Hamate — quench the thirst,
Say it slow, say it fast, let the carpals memorize,
Eight little stones behind your eyes.
[Verse 2]
Cross to the far row, closer to your fingers' reach,
Trapezium sits by the thumb, that's the trick I teach,
"TrapeziUM," "thUMb" — the U-M matches, plain to see,
Trapezoid's table-shaped, its boxy neighbor, you'll agree,
Capitate's the chief, the largest head among the band,
Hamate wears a hook, the hamulus, curled in your hand.
[Chorus]
Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle,
Eight bones in a row, lit like a tiny candle,
Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetrum, Pisiform first,
Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate, Hamate — quench the thirst,
Say it slow, say it fast, let the carpals memorize,
Eight little stones behind your eyes.
[Verse 3]
Now the scaphoid's famous, the one that breaks the most,
Fall on an open palm and it's the first to feel the ghost,
Blood sneaks in from the far end, climbing up like ivy grows,
Snap it near the wrist and the near half starves, nobody knows,
Till the bone turns brittle, dies in silence, caves in slow —
Avascular necrosis, the quiet undertow.
Press the snuffbox hollow, where the thumb tendons part,
Tenderness right there means scaphoid trouble from the start.
[Bridge]
Lunate's a wanderer, can slip and dislocate,
Pressing on the tunnel where the median nerve waits,
Carpal tunnel's an archway, bones curved like a bowl,
Pinch that nerve inside it, fingers tingle, lose control.
Eight bones build the roof, eight bones build the floor,
Every wrist you've ever shaken's got this story at its core.
[Chorus]
Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle,
Eight bones in a row, lit like a tiny candle,
Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetrum, Pisiform first,
Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate, Hamate — quench the thirst,
Say it slow, say it fast, let the carpals memorize,
Eight little stones behind your eyes.
[Outro]
Boat, moon, triangle, pea — the near shore holds them tight,
Table, table, head, and hook — the far shore catches light,
Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle, friend,
Eight bones of the wrist, the story doesn't end.