[Verse 1]
Tuesday night, her couch, popcorn bowl between us,
She calls this place "home" but means it like a cousin,
Falls asleep halfway through the second feature,
Head on my shoulder, zero clue she's the reason
I rehearse what I'd say if the moment ever opened,
She wakes up smiling, says "you're my favorite person,
like a brother I never asked for, lucky me,"
I nod and swallow it, calm as still water, see—
that's the trick of limerence, the mind stuck repeating
a story where she loves me back, except she's not reading
from that page at all, she's writing "family" in the margin
while I'm circling "maybe" hoping it'll change the pattern.
[Chorus]
You see a brother where I see a flame,
Same word "close" wearing two different names,
I love you louder than the quiet way you do,
That's the whole sad math of loving you.
[Verse 2]
So I called my boy Marcus, two a.m., voice cracking,
He said "man, I did this dance, same floor, same patterns,"
Told me "write the version where she's just a person,
not your whole weather system, not the reason the earth turns,"
So I started a notebook, dumb as it sounds,
every time she says "bro" I write one true thing down
about myself, not her, something I'm proud of,
rebuilding the room where my worth don't need her love,
Marcus called it limerence, obsession dressed as fate,
says naming the thing is the first way to loosen the weight,
I still get the hoodie back smelling like her detergent,
but now I just fold it, no longer keep it as evidence.
[Verse 3]
Months later I run into her at some mutual friend's wedding,
She's got a date now, laughing loud, no idea what I'm shedding,
She waves me over, says "come meet him, you'll get along great,"
And I do, we talk sports, I'm polite, I don't hesitate,
Later she finds me by the punch, says "thanks for being you,
not every guy could handle a friendship this true,"
I used to hear that sentence like a door slamming shut,
Tonight it just sounds like a fact, nothing more, nothing less,
I drive home with the windows down, radio turned up loud,
Not healed completely, but lighter, standing a little more proud,
Turns out the notebook worked slow, like medicine does,
I'm still me without her verdict, still whole, still because.
[Bridge]
Some nights her "love you, bro" still lands wrong,
I laugh on the beat, keep humming the song,
Nothing here makes her see me the way I see her,
Just makes the Tuesday nights a little bit clearer.
[Chorus]
You see a brother where I see a flame,
Same word "close" wearing two different names,
I love you louder than the quiet way you do,
That's the whole sad math of loving you.
[Chorus]
You see a brother where I see a flame,
Same word "close" wearing two different names,
I love you louder than the quiet way you do,
That's the whole sad math of loving you.