[Verse 1]
Budget drops a number, feel the weight when it lands,
One hundred seventy-six point three, million, laid in two hands,
Spread across five years, starting twenty-six to seven,
Building a watchdog that don't exist, not yet, no heaven,
Merging online harms with privacy's old address,
One office, two jobs, call it a crowded nest.
[Chorus]
One seven six point three, that's the line on the page,
Not a law, just a promise waiting backstage,
Twenty-nine point three keeps flowing when the five years end,
Do the math on the average, it's thirty-five, my friend.
[Verse 2]
Here's what the headline left folded in the drawer,
Two bills still waiting, C-thirty-four, C-thirty-six, no more,
No royal assent stamped, the ink ain't dried,
So the money's a proposal, not a check verified.
And the Privacy Commissioner loses half his lane,
Private-sector cases now ride a different train.
[Chorus]
One seven six point three, that's the line on the page,
Not a law, just a promise waiting backstage,
Twenty-nine point three keeps flowing when the five years end,
Do the math on the average, it's thirty-five, my friend.
[Bridge]
Call it a chimera — two heads stitched as one,
A mythical beast of harms and data, half-finished, barely spun,
Geist says there's no blueprint, no Canadian precedent in sight,
CCLA calls it a blank check, signed away in the night.
No creature like it's walked this ground before today,
So they're drafting its anatomy as they go, out in the open, no clean getaway.
[Verse 3]
Eighteen months to assemble, so the whisper used to go,
Dufresne says his office still has notes it means to show,
Royal assent's the gate, the amendments are the toll,
This budget line's a seed, friend, not a tree, not yet whole.
Watch the chamber, watch the clause, watch which way the vote will lean,
A number on a page ain't power till the ink turns green.
[Chorus]
One seven six point three, that's the line on the page,
Not a law, just a promise waiting backstage,
Twenty-nine point three keeps flowing when the five years end,
Do the math on the average, it's thirty-five, my friend.
[Verse 4]
Some call it foresight, planting money ahead of the law,
Others call it a tell, a hand shown before the draw,
The AI piece and the privacy piece, stitched into one single thread,
Industry's watching the clause, wondering where it's led.
Will the watchdog bite, or just bark from a locked cage?
Depends on the ink that finally lands on the page.
Lobbyists circling, advocates holding their breath,
A number this size can mean progress, or mean nothing left.
[Outro]
Two bills, one office, a number on review,
Nothing's finished yet, so we're watching it with you,
Royal assent coming — or maybe it won't,
Either way we'll sing it when it does, or when it don't.