[Verse 1] Tommy found a special fund that plays both sides Going long on winners, shorting stocks that slide Long-short equity, the bread and butter trade Market neutral keeps the beta risks at bay Event-driven hunters wait for corporate deals Merger arbitrage when acquisition wheels Start to turn and spread the gap between the price [Chorus] Hedge funds charge you two and twenty Management plus incentive plenty High-water marks protect your wallet Hurdle rates before they call it Sharpe ratio tells half the story Sortino shows the downside glory Remember these fees, remember these measures Hedge fund secrets, financial treasures [Verse 2] Relative value arbitrageurs seek Convertible bonds and fixed income technique Global macro bets on currencies and rates Managed futures, CTAs speculate Master-feeder structures funnel foreign cash Side pockets lock illiquid assets stashed Gates control redemptions when markets crash [Chorus] Hedge funds charge you two and twenty Management plus incentive plenty High-water marks protect your wallet Hurdle rates before they call it Sharpe ratio tells half the story Sortino shows the downside glory Remember these fees, remember these measures Hedge fund secrets, financial treasures [Bridge] Fund of funds diversify your risk exposure Due diligence prevents costly disclosure Manager selection, operational screening Style drift detection keeps performance clean Survivorship bias inflates the index Backfill bias makes past returns perplexed Selection bias cherry-picks the best Clawback provisions put fees to the test [Verse 3] Drawdown analysis shows the deepest pain Appraisal ratio measures skill's true gain When markets tumble, see who keeps their head Distressed debt vultures feast on corporate dread These alternative investments promise alpha But complexity demands you understand the [Final Chorus] Hedge funds charge you two and twenty Management plus incentive plenty High-water marks protect your wallet Hurdle rates before they call it Sharpe ratio tells half the story Sortino shows the downside glory Master these concepts, master these measures Unlock the hedge fund hidden treasures
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