[Verse 1] Dana White stood by the podium Monday night Trump said "take the job," then said he wasn't quite right Twenty-four hours of guessing, now the guessing's done Truth Social post was real, the offer part was one But the serious part — Trump called it funny, just a bit White's still the UFC chief, never took the seat [Chorus] Podium's empty, nobody's home Five days, maybe four, nobody owns the throne A joke that ate a whole news cycle whole Press room's a chair with nobody's name on the roll [Verse 2] Rewind to October sixteenth, Zacharia walked the plank Five days in the chair, Wikipedia says four, take your pick from the bank Before her, Leavitt stepped sideways back in August's heat So the microphone's been cold for weeks on K Street That's the part the headline skipped, the empty-chair backstory Not just a punchline, it's a months-long vacancy [Chorus] Podium's empty, nobody's home Five days, maybe four, nobody owns the throne A joke that ate a whole news cycle whole Press room's a chair with nobody's name on the roll [Verse 3] Same briefing held more than just the joke in its hand Eight months deep in the Iran war, still trying to land A defense of Hegseth, words thrown like a shield And a nod to Jensen Huang, Nvidia's chip-stacked field All of that got buried while the joke took the stage That's the trick of a headline — what it frames, what it cages [Verse 4] Now Democrats hold Congress, pledged to dig and probe Rep. Kiros calls it "deeply unserious," a telling robe Senator Kelly says it's "funny if it wasn't dangerous" too Wondering 'bout the wellbeing of the man behind the view No date's been set, the search just keeps on turning Watch the podium — that's where the next name's learning [Bridge] Maybe it's a metaphor for a White House run thin Maybe it's a mirror for the chaos we're all living in A seat that stays empty says more than words could say Washington's watching shadows dance where a podium used to stay [Verse 5] Some call it strategy, a test to see who'd leap Others call it proof the whole machine runs cheap Either way the cameras roll, waiting for a face To stand behind the seal and hold the nation's space Reporters keep showing up, asking the same old thing Who's gonna claim the mic, who's gonna wear the ring [Chorus] Podium's empty, nobody's home Five days, maybe four, nobody owns the throne A joke that ate a whole news cycle whole Press room's a chair with nobody's name on the roll [Outro] White went back to the octagon, left the mic behind Vacancy keeps ticking on the Capitol's mind Watch for the name, watch for the chair to fill Till then it's just an empty room, and a joke that's standing still
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