[Verse 1]
Gallup ran the numbers, put the data on the scale
American pride just bottomed out, a twenty-five year trail
One in four say they're genuinely proud — that's the lowest mark recorded
The birthday bunting's going up but the sentiment feels distorted
AP-NORC pulled the same thread loose, the polling tells a story
Fewer people waving flags or claiming democratic glory
History itself is getting shade, the pride in what we've built
Two hundred fifty candles burning low beneath the weight of guilt
[Chorus]
Two-fifty years and counting, but the pulse is running thin
The anniversary cake is baked, the cracks are showing from within
Gallup, AP-NORC both agree — the numbers don't parade
America at two-fifty got a complicated grade
[Verse 2]
Over at the White House they've been drafting up a list
Two hundred fifty pardons for the birthday — quite a twist
The Atlantic broke the story, that's a pardon for each year
A nation's milestone wrapped around a legal atmosphere
Meanwhile Trump himself called housing legislation — quote — a yawn
Pressing voting restrictions while the housing bill moved on
Reuters caught the sound bite, filed it under "read this twice"
Birthday policy delivered at a slightly different price
[Chorus]
Two-fifty years and counting, but the pulse is running thin
The anniversary cake is baked, the cracks are showing from within
Gallup, AP-NORC both agree — the numbers don't parade
America at two-fifty got a complicated grade
[Bridge]
And up in Ontario, Governor Ford's been making calls
Signed a trade deal straight with Utah, bypassing federal halls
Province shaking hands with states while Washington runs hot
CBC covered every detail of the ties they've tied and knotted
Jason Miller's circling back around the midterm campaign door
The Washington Post reporting — shake-ups coming, maybe more
[Verse 3]
The Guardian called the whole spectacle a theatre of the absurd
Trump at the center of the semiquincentennial, every gesture stirred
Hijacked the history, reframed the celebration's tone
Two hundred fifty years of chapters claimed as if his own
But underneath the pageantry the poll numbers stay cold
Pride in the republic at the lowest point it's ever been told
[Verse 4]
The fireworks still go up regardless, red and white and blue
Somewhere a kid is watching sparks and getting the wrong cue
That the country and the moment and the man are all the same
That the birthday and the spectacle are players in his game
But the founders wrote in plural, built the scaffolding for doubt
Checks and balances and arguments — that's what it's all about
So maybe two-fifty is the age you start to reckon hard
Take the celebration seriously and drop the greeting card
[Outro]
June thirtieth, twenty-twenty-six — write it in the record books
America at two-fifty getting longer, harder looks