[Verse 1]
There's a promise that sounds too good to be true
One department handling everything they do
Protect the company from every legal threat
While fighting for workers' rights, you can bet
Report to the bosses, paid by their hand
But somehow stay neutral where conflicts stand
[Chorus]
It's an impossible promise, can't serve every side
When your paycheck comes from the ones you're meant to guide
Like a referee playing for the home team too
HR's built on something that just can't come through
Impossible promise, the paradigm's broke
When push comes to shove, whose side will you invoke?
[Verse 2]
Star salesman harassing the new hire today
Should we investigate or just look away?
Employee protection versus revenue stream
These goals collide, it's not what it seems
Document everything for compliance sake
But move fast and break things, whatever it takes
[Chorus]
It's an impossible promise, can't serve every side
When your paycheck comes from the ones you're meant to guide
Like a referee playing for the home team too
HR's built on something that just can't come through
Impossible promise, the paradigm's broke
When push comes to shove, whose side will you invoke?
[Bridge]
Lawyers don't represent both plaintiff and defense
Auditors can't check their own company's expense
We learned from Enron what conflicts create
But HR keeps juggling this impossible fate
Five different masters with five different needs
One structural flaw that's bound to mislead
[Chorus]
It's an impossible promise, can't serve every side
When your paycheck comes from the ones you're meant to guide
Like a referee playing for the home team too
HR's built on something that just can't come through
Impossible promise, the paradigm's broke
When push comes to shove, whose side will you invoke?
[Outro]
Not the people's fault, it's the system's design
A promise impossible by structural bind