[Verse 1] Pods are spinning wheels of death, CrashLoopBackOff appears Memory limits squeeze too tight, storage claims disappear Configuration maps gone wrong, secrets missing from the game Check your YAML syntax close, restart policy to blame [Chorus] Five alarms ring through the cluster night CRASH-CERT-NET-PART-OP burning bright Memory-Storage-Config-DNS Under-replicated mess Certificate rotation stress Operator reconciliation distress [Verse 2] Certificates expire fast, handshakes failing left and right TLS connections break apart, authentication out of sight Rotation schedules missed their mark, trust stores need refreshing now KeyStore passwords lost in time, certificate chains somehow [Chorus] Five alarms ring through the cluster night CRASH-CERT-NET-PART-OP burning bright Memory-Storage-Config-DNS Under-replicated mess Certificate rotation stress Operator reconciliation distress [Verse 3] Network packets drop like stones, DNS queries hit the wall Firewall rules block the ports, security groups stall Service mesh misconfigured, ingress routes lead nowhere Load balancer health checks fail, endpoints vanish in thin air [Bridge] In-Sync-Replicas shrinking down Partitions scattered all around Consumer groups rebalance wild RBAC permissions filed [Verse 4] Under-replicated partitions cry, ISR numbers fall below Leader elections stumble blind, followers refuse to grow Consumer storms rebalance mad, groups reassigned each second Partition ownership chaos spreads, stability never beckoned [Verse 5] Operator sleeps through reconcile loops, RBAC denies the way Custom Resource Definitions old, versions lead astray Finalizers block deletion paths, webhooks timeout expired Controller manager permissions locked, desired state never fired [Chorus] Five alarms ring through the cluster night CRASH-CERT-NET-PART-OP burning bright Memory-Storage-Config-DNS Under-replicated mess Certificate rotation stress Operator reconciliation distress [Outro] Troubleshoot the Kafka maze Fix these problems, count the ways Strimzi mastery takes its toll Kubernetes control
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