[Verse 1]
Red light, infrared, two wavelengths chasing oxygen
Pulse ox reads the ratio, ninety-four to a hundred ten
But nail varnish, cold peripheries, methemoglobin in the vein
Can fool the probe — the plethysmograph waveform tells the strain
Capnography draws the rectangle, plateau, baseline, upstroke clean
Obstruction clips the plateau's edge, rebreathing lifts the baseline scene
Curare cleft splits the plateau when the patient breathes against the vent
Esophageal intubation? Flat line — no alveolar content
[Chorus]
Pulse ox, capnography, ECG, arterial trace
TOF and processed EEG to monitor time and space
EtCO2 minus PaCO2, gradient growing wide
Means dead space is expanding — perfusion falling on the slide
Every waveform tells a story, every number has a cost
Read the signal, trust the pattern, count what can't be lost
[Verse 2]
Lead two for arrhythmias, V5 for ischemia's door
ST depression, elevation — myocardium keeping score
Artifact mimics every rhythm, loose electrode, shivering hand
NIBP underestimates atrial fibrillation — understand
Arterial waveform: systolic upstroke, dicrotic notch descending
Pulse pressure variation over thirteen percent — fluids worth sending
Central venous pressure: a-wave atrial contraction, v-wave filling back
CVP alone can't tell you preload — Starling's off the track
[Chorus]
Pulse ox, capnography, ECG, arterial trace
TOF and processed EEG to monitor time and space
EtCO2 minus PaCO2, gradient growing wide
Means dead space is expanding — perfusion falling on the slide
Every waveform tells a story, every number has a cost
Read the signal, trust the pattern, count what can't be lost
[Bridge]
Train of four: four twitches, ratio ninety to declare reversal safe
Quantitative over qualitative — don't eyeball, don't conflate
Processed EEG gives you index numbers, raw shows burst suppression glow
B-Aware, B-Unaware, BAG-RECALL — awareness must be low
NIRS watches cerebral saturation, SSEP guards the cord
MEP checks the motor tracts while BAEP monitors the auditory chord
Thermodilution, pulse contour, esophageal Doppler's beam
TEE short-axis, transgastric view — the ventricle fills the screen
[Verse 3]
Malignant hyperthermia spikes EtCO2 before the fever shows
Embolism drops end-tidal, hypoperfusion ebbs and flows
Jugular bulb oximetry below fifty — brain is starved of flow
ICP waveforms: P1 percussion, P2 rising means compliance low
Lactate, glucose, hemoglobin — point-of-care beside the field
Viscoelastic TEG and ROTEM show clot forming, strength, and yield
Temperature varies: tympanic, nasopharyngeal, bladder deep
Esophageal sits closest to the core — the one worth choosing to keep
[Chorus]
Pulse ox, capnography, ECG, arterial trace
TOF and processed EEG to monitor time and space
EtCO2 minus PaCO2, gradient growing wide
Means dead space is expanding — perfusion falling on the slide
Every waveform tells a story, every number has a cost
Read the signal, trust the pattern, count what can't be lost