7 Local Anesthetics

hip hop, rap bedroom pop · 3:15

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Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Amides got two I's in the name, that's how you know 'em
Lidocaine, bupivacaine, ropivacaine — let me show 'em
Esters got one I: procaine, tetracaine, benzocaine squad
Amides metabolized hepatic, esters get cleaved by plasma cholinesterase broad
They block sodium channels, voltage-gated, phase-zero flat
Depolarization halted — nerve conduction stops right at that
Onset depends on pKa — lower means more un-ionized base
More lipid-soluble cross the membrane, hit the binding place
Bupivacaine slow onset but duration long — eight hours cardiac-bound
Lidocaine fast, intermediate — thirty minutes, good ground
Add epinephrine, vasoconstrict, cut the bleed and extend duration
Bicarbonate alkalinizes — speeds onset, slick equation
Dexamethasone prolongs the block through anti-inflammatory mediation
Clonidine alpha-two agonist adding sedation and sensation

[Chorus]
Amide or ester, sodium channel blocker
Two I's in the name or one — be a proper stocker
Max dose by weight, by site, by vascularity
LAST creeping in — lipid emulsion is the clarity
Lipo-somal slow release, topical patch it down
IV lidocaine periop — keep the pain profound-ly bound

[Verse 2]
Max dose principles — weight times limit, site matters most
Intercostal high absorption, gluteal low — that's the pharmacokinetic toast
Lidocaine plain — four-point-five milligrams per kilo is the cap
With epi push it seven — vasospasm buying extra lap
Bupivacaine two-point-five plain, never use with epi cardiac trap
Age and liver disease cut your ceiling — elderly patient, mind the gap
Now LAST — local anesthetic systemic toxicity, the specter at the feast
Prodromal: perioral numb, tinnitus, metallic taste, agitation released
Seizures follow, then cardiovascular collapse — arrhythmia, the beast
Twenty percent lipid emulsion — one-point-five per kilo bolus, cease
Infuse at point-two-five per kilo per minute, ASRA checklist greased
Avoid vasopressin, propofol won't replace the lipid piece

[Chorus]
Amide or ester, sodium channel blocker
Two I's in the name or one — be a proper stocker
Max dose by weight, by site, by vascularity
LAST creeping in — lipid emulsion is the clarity
Lipo-somal slow release, topical patch it down
IV lidocaine periop — keep the pain profound-ly bound

[Bridge]
Liposomal bupivacaine — Exparel's extended-release shell
Seventy-two hours infiltration, mixed data on nerve blocks — too early to tell
Lidocaine patch five percent — postherpetic neuralgia's nemesis
EMLA eutectic mixture forty-five minutes occlusive — venipuncture genesis
Capsaicin eight percent — defenestrates TRPV-one receptors, strips the wire
Depletes substance P, burning application, three months' respite entire
IV lidocaine infusions — perioperative: less opioid, faster gut return
Chronic pain neuropathic — membrane stabilizer, aberrant signals adjourn
Monitor EKG and pressure, watch the QRS and rate discern

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