[Verse 1]
Sarah filed a complaint last week
Against her boss who crossed the line
HR called her in to speak
Said they'd investigate this time
But the same department that protects
The company from legal claims
Now says they'll be objective
While playing two conflicting games
[Chorus]
Two hats, one head, can't serve both sides
Investigation bias hides
Behind the mask of neutrality
But loyalty runs deep, you see
Two hats, one head, the outcome's clear
Protect the brand, that's what they fear
When HR investigates themselves
The scales tip toward corporate wealth
[Verse 2]
The executive's untouchable
His revenue's too high to lose
While junior staff expendable
Face consequences when accused
They're asking all the wrong questions
Not "did this person suffer harm?"
But "will this cost us money?"
And "how do we stay calm?"
[Chorus]
Two hats, one head, can't serve both sides
Investigation bias hides
Behind the mask of neutrality
But loyalty runs deep, you see
Two hats, one head, the outcome's clear
Protect the brand, that's what they fear
When HR investigates themselves
The scales tip toward corporate wealth
[Bridge]
Anti-retaliation on paper
But whispers in the hall
Your career starts fading
After you made that call
Findings sealed in silence
No transparency at all
Justice wears a blindfold
But HR sees it all
[Verse 3]
High performers get protection
While complaints get buried deep
The investigation process
Is a promise they can't keep
When you're judge and jury
For your own best interests too
The verdict's predetermined
Before they interview you
[Chorus]
Two hats, one head, can't serve both sides
Investigation bias hides
Behind the mask of neutrality
But loyalty runs deep, you see
Two hats, one head, the outcome's clear
Protect the brand, that's what they fear
When HR investigates themselves
The scales tip toward corporate wealth
[Outro]
So when they say "we'll look into it"
Remember what they really mean
They'll investigate the liability
Not the human beings
Two hats, one head
The choice is clear
Corporate interest
Always wins here