[Verse 1] Behind the boardroom doors they smile and shake your hand Promising returns that sound too good to understand Twenty percent a year, they say with confidence But Ludovic pulled back the curtain on their game of pretense [Chorus] IRR's a lie, don't let it fool your mind Internal Rate of Return leaves the truth behind PE firms get rich while pension funds go dry Behind the curtain blue, they're selling you a lie IRR's a lie, the numbers are designed To make the bad deals look good over time [Verse 2] Private equity claims they beat the market every day But when you strip away the fees, the alpha fades away They leverage up the companies, extract what they can find Then sell the story of success while leaving debt behind [Chorus] IRR's a lie, don't let it fool your mind Internal Rate of Return leaves the truth behind PE firms get rich while pension funds go dry Behind the curtain blue, they're selling you a lie IRR's a lie, the numbers are designed To make the bad deals look good over time [Bridge] Phalippou laid it bare for all the world to see The billionaire factory runs on our money Management fees and carried interest too They win on every deal, win or lose [Verse 3] The tyranny of IRR distorts what you believe Makes early cash flows look like magic up their sleeve But timing is everything, and they control the clock While institutional investors take the market shock [Chorus] IRR's a lie, don't let it fool your mind Internal Rate of Return leaves the truth behind PE firms get rich while pension funds go dry Behind the curtain blue, they're selling you a lie IRR's a lie, the numbers are designed To make the bad deals look good over time [Outro] So when they come calling with their polished pitch deck Remember what Ludovic taught us to check The curtain's been lifted, now we know what's true Behind that curtain blue
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