[Verse 1]
Since July twenty-five, the UK drew a line,
age-check's been the law, not a suggestion this time
Ofcom swung the gavel eight separate ways,
eighty grand to one-point-three-five mil in fines, it says
But the ceiling reads eighteen million, or ten percent of take,
so these numbers are pocket change, a slap, not a shake
Proton's got receipts, VPN signups took flight,
fourteen to eighteen hundred percent, folks dodging the light
[Chorus]
Diverging lines on a cracked-up map,
UK, EU, US — different clocks, different gap
Call it balkanized — fractured, no two parts agree,
one rule's enforced while the other's just a plea
[Verse 2]
Now the EU's "KIDS Act," sounds already passed,
but it's only a proposal, dated September the last —
seventeenth, to be exact, barring under-fifteens from the feed,
still needs Parliament and Council to agree it's what we need
Meanwhile Texas keeps its app-store law alive,
stayed by the Fifth Circuit, so for now it survives
Argued August fourth, the ruling's still to land,
constitutional challenge is the risk across the land
[Verse 3]
Here's the correction, listen closely to the sound:
California's AB-ten-forty-three — don't call it a verification gate, that claim don't hold ground
It's a chimera — a shape that looks real but it's thin air,
the OS just whispers an age-bracket flag, a self-declared affair
Utah pushed its deadline, May sixth, twenty-seven, dropped AG enforcement too,
Louisiana slid to July first, same year, same residue
[Bridge]
And what got left outside the frame, no mention, no footnote shown —
Australia's under-sixteen ban's been running on its own
since December tenth, last year, no article, no name,
four-point-seven million accounts erased, same game
[Verse 4]
South Korea's got its own shutdown clause, midnight curfew coded tight,
though the courts walked it back, said the teens could keep the light
Canada's still drafting, committee hearings drag,
while Brazil's Supreme Court waves its own age-check flag
Every nation's got a patchwork, every patch a different thread,
no treaty ties them, no accord, just borders in your head
The platforms code one app, then split it eight more ways,
compliance teams in different time zones, burning through their days
[Chorus]
Diverging lines on a cracked-up map,
UK, EU, US — different clocks, different gap
Call it balkanized — fractured, no two parts agree,
one rule's enforced while the other's just a plea
[Outro]
January first for California's quiet flag,
May for Utah, July for Louisiana's lag
Texas still waiting on that Fifth Circuit call,
and the KIDS Act's still a draft taped up on the wall
[Chorus]
Diverging lines on a cracked-up map,
UK, EU, US — different clocks, different gap
Call it balkanized — fractured, no two parts agree,
one rule's enforced while the other's just a plea